That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
