I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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