garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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