We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
