so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
