oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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