I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
