my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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