he wants to bone in the snuggie
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
