I don't think brook has ever known best
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
