yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
