cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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