Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Congratulations! We have a period
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