by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
