I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
