1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
