we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
