its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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