i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
