Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
