We're like a lot better than the average bears
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
