I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
