This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
