In the future we'll all be gay
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Randomize
