She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
