He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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