Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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