So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
