the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
