I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
