someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
