That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
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He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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