Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm passing your future prison.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
