It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
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Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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