Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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