Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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