Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
