You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
