I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
