were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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