drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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