i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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