at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Life is so much better after having sex.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My ass is underappreciated
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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