The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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