Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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