But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
