You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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