Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize