So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
