You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
