I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
