the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
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as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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