do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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