I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
