i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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