I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize