hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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