Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Are we still banned from the library?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
