Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize