My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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