I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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