Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
