You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
