Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
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Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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