did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
