But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
